Introducing the 3-Tier Wedding Cake™

June 12, 2009

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Ah yes, nothing like an evening stroll, the lights fading in the darkness, the silhouettes against the beautiful night sky. I am here, I say, in all my glory. I am bringing you the 30tiered wedding cake! Whereas most females only have one bump in the upper chest region, or two if she is pregnant (or fat), I have three…it’s like my very own triumvirate tummy. I assimilate my fat layers to cake layers; 3 separate tiers provide 3 delicious varieties of fat: Upper, mid, and pooch, if you will, and I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. Hey, we all deserve the best, and I just figure that my three layers against the twinkling stars provide a true, multi-dimensional viewing experience.

Verdict: If you have 3-D glasses, put them on now for (non) full-frontal flab.

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