Introducing the Horse Blanket™

June 9, 2009

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Some fail to realize that the orginal Horse Blanket™ was meant for horses, not adults. I am one of those some. You see, I’m way past the point of getting on Pregnant or Fat and convincing people that I might be pregnant. My age says it all. But really, was it necessary for me to go to this extreme? It’s a fairly warm night, and I live in a city (You actually thought I owned a horse?! Heck no! I just went to a tack shop and lied.) and am convinced that this is posh. My hands sit delicately on top of my hump, and my purse gently cradles my underbelly, which could, in a time and place several decades ago, hold a new life.

Verdict: At least pick a better color. And yes, the whole ensemble is age-appropriate if you want everyone to know you’re pushing 90. Now can we insert a carrot joke?

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