Buy One, Get One Free

June 6, 2009


I tell you what. Oh hey, it’s me, the one with terrible curves on the left. Ummm, your left or my left? Both. Either. It’s women like us who keep the capri companies going. Plus, black is so slimming. We look better than we did at 43! Don’t you just love how our outfits create that nice diamond shape, making our ankles look tiny, our heads undergrown, and our midsections and hips the attention-grabbers? Yeah, no one’s even pretending that our bumps have anything to do with kids. It’s lard, pure and simple.

Verdict: Pure fat.


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